


Okay.

by brokenpromisesandhope



Series: Quotes 'Verse [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Feelings, Future Fic, M/M, based on a quote from a little mix song, based on a quote from tfios, derek is insecure, he doesn't know how to say i love you, like 2 seconds of smut, mostly comfort, so many feelings, sterek, this is so hard to tag what the hell did i write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-18
Updated: 2014-04-18
Packaged: 2018-01-19 20:02:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1482157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenpromisesandhope/pseuds/brokenpromisesandhope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek can't say "I love you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the following quotes: 
> 
> "Okay." He said after forever. "Maybe okay will be our always."   
> "Okay."   
> -The Fault In our Stars
> 
> "Couldn't love me if you tried."   
> -Good Enough by Little Mix

The first time stiles says "I love you" Derek freezes, hand halfway towards the cashier in Caribou Coffee. Derek wonders what he's done to deserve those three words and the only thing he can think of is that he'd just rattled off Stiles' drink order from memory.  
I mean they're in a rush and before Stiles could even say anything Derek had said,  
"Medium black coffee with two shots of espresso and a medium mint condition with a shot of hazelnut and he has a cinnamon allergy so if you could wash your hands before making his drink that would be great. Oh and I have a perks card."   
He turned to see Stiles staring at him wide eyed,   
"God I love you." He'd said. So casually like it wasn't that big of a deal.   
Derek's heart pounds and like an idiot he says,   
"Okay."   
The barista is staring at them and Derek flushes under her gaze as stiles presses a kiss to his stubbley cheek. 

Stiles doesn't say it often and for that Derek is grateful. He doesn't think he could take those words anymore often. His heart couldn't take it. 

The second time stiles says it Derek loses his grip on a jar of maraschino cherries. His heart drops like the jar, shattering on impact, the pieces scattering. Not that'd he had thought stiles had slipped up the first time when he said it but it's still a surprise to hear it again . 

He thinks the worst part Is he doesn't know what he's done to deserve it. When Kate used to say it, she would say it after he'd done sometime he didn't particularly want to do. Whether it was ditching his family for her and lying about it, or letting her suck him off in his car. Once she'd gotten what she wanted, she'd purr. "Good boy. I love you." 

Stiles just said it to say it. He wasn't sure if he liked that or not.   
"Are you okay? You didn't cut yourself or anything?" He asks concerned, though even if he had Derek would have healed by now.   
"No I just. You surprised me."   
Stiles raises and eyebrow and Derek feels his face go hot.   
"Never mind. I just, um, what kind of ice cream are we gonna get?"   
"Chocolate." Stiles responds immediately.

Derek nods and grabs another jar of cherries for their sundaes.   
"Der?"   
He grips the jar tightly and looks at Stiles.   
"You know I mean it right? I love you."   
Derek squeezes the jar so hard he's afraid it'll break.   
"Okay." He says heart pounding.   
Stiles just smiles and nods once, "Okay."

Stiles says it often throughout their relationship. He says it when Derek brings him greasy bags of McDonald's when he's hungover. When Derek cuddles him on chilly nights in November. When Derek let's him watch the Mets game and not do anything else all day. When Derek quizzes him on all the bones in the mouth, (twice because he failed the test the first time okay it was hard.) He says it when he watches Derek shave or when Derek wears his favorite shirt. He says it when Derek orders pizza with his favorite toppings, when they're on there way to watch Scott and Allison's son Carter. When he finally sinks all the way down on Derek's cock and can hardly breathe, when Derek sends Stiles out for milk at 3 am because neither of them could sleep and they want mac and cheese dammit. 

It's the first thing he says when he graduates college, Dental Hygienist degree under his belt. He says it as he watches his dad and Melissa have their first dance. He says it pressing kisses Into Derek's skin when they're watching marathons of Shameless and he says it as they eat take out for the fourth time that week. 

And every time Derek says "Okay."   
He just can't say those words. It's not that he doesn't. He might. He just. Everyone he says it to turns out to be bad. And he doesn't want stiles to be bad. He doesn't think stiles is bad and he doesn't want to ruin him. Because that's what he does. He ruins people. He ruins pale boys with moles and wide amber eyes that fall in love with everyone they meet and still read comic books at 23. He doesn't want to be the reason Stiles worries at his bottom lip or doesn't sleep and gets light purple bruises under his eyes. So he says okay and smiles and pretends he's okay with it. That he's okay with Stiles loving him for no reason. 

They've been together for seven years. Well the first two years were a fuck buddy sort of deal but still. A long time and Derek still hasn't said I love you. He still can't. He doesn't even know if he's ever said, "I care about you" or "I need you" or "I appreciate you." And honestly Stiles needs more. He deserves more.

Because Allison and Scott are on child number three and they're hoping for a little girl; Cora and Isaac have been engaged and married and Derek can smell how much they long for a baby. Lydia's traveled half of Europe, managed to earn an English doctorate degree and marry a British politician and Derek can't even choke out I love you. 

Derek plans on surprising him. On going to his work during his lunch break and bringing his favorite hot dish he had made this morning. He knows stiles Will appreciate it much more than his soggy ham and cheese sandwich.

The small private dental office Stiles works in isn't far from their apartment so Derek decides to walk if for nothing more than to feel the sun on his face. 

When he arrives he's upset to see Stiles sitting eating lunch with another guy, their shoulders hunched together and laughing.   
"Stiles." He chokes, feeling the Tupperware fall from his hand.   
"Derek! Hey!"   
"Who's this?" He demands.   
"Oh it's just my coworker David."   
"David? Well you're pretty good at keeping our names straight." He doesn't understand when he got so insecure or jealous.   
Stiles eyes widen, "Derek what the- David can we have a minute please?" 

David nods and gathers his things and Derek fights the need to bare his fangs at him because that's right Stiles is his.   
Once they're alone stiles looks him over,   
"What the hell Derek?"   
"If you don't want to be in this relationship just say." He snapped.   
"What are you talking about?"   
"David."   
"We were eating lunch. He's my friend. Am I not allowed to have friends?" Stiles snaps, annoyed now.   
"I just-" He rubs the back of his neck. "I need you." 

Stiles face softens and he pulls Derek down next to him.   
"I know. I need you too baby."   
Derek shakes his head, because no stiles doesn't.   
"I do sweetie I do. I love you and I will always love you and I'm not going to leave you."   
Derek is shaking his head and Stiles takes one of Derek's massive hands in two of his.   
"Derek Hale I love you. You are the only one for me."   
Derek shakes his head again and keeps his lips pressed together, inhaling through his nose because for some reason he feels like he's about to cry.

Stiles squeezes his hand tightly and his eyes are locked on Derek's and he's trying not to let tears well up and this is fucking embarrassing.   
"Derek I love you."   
Derek doesn't move.   
"I need you to say something. For me. So I know you understand." He brushes his hand through Derek's hair and Derek chokes out, "Okay." Just as the tears start to spill down his cheeks.   
Stiles pulls his head down to rest on his shoulder and he rubs Derek's back,   
"It's okay baby. It's okay." 

There's no big moment. Stiles isn't doing anything glamorous. In fact he's starting to piss Derek off because he forgot to take his Adderall this morning and he's practically bouncing off the walls, obnoxiously tapping the glass as he watches the worker make his meatball sub. He's been bugging Derek to go look at puppies all morning and if he mentions it one more time Derek is pretty sure he's going to backhand him. 

They're at the end of the counter by now and the woman's ringing up the two subs and two drinks, when stiles turns to him, eyes wide, pupils slightly blown the way they get, little string of leftover spearmint gum on the corner of his mouth, lips chapped, a day and ad half's worth of stubble on his jaw just barely covering up a fading hickey,   
"Can I get a cookie?"   
"I love you." Derek says at the same time. 

Stiles jaw drops and he stares, "You - what?"   
Derek swallows, "I love you. And you can get a cookie."   
Stiles stares at him, glistening eyes wide,   
"Okay." He smiles, "Okay." He covers his face and hiccups out a laugh but Derek can smell his tears and he wraps his arms around him, sealing his mouth to stiles. 

When he pulls away, he realizes both their cheeks are damp and he has the courtesy to be embarrassed. The cashier is looking quite weepy herself and she gestures to the food, which now includes a bag of cookies.   
"It's on the house. Now get out of here before I start crying." 

They're almost home, stopped at a red light before Stiles speaks again,  
"Could you Um, I mean, it's been-"   
"Stiles,"   
Stiles turns to him, eyes wide as Derek wipes a smudge of sauce off his cheek then sucks that thumb into his mouth,   
"I love you."   
Stiles nods once, "Okay." He says as the light turns green.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed little angels.   
> xx   
> T


End file.
